Maybe the “ick” thing goes to where I’m at on the “Mommyhood” trail. Let me explain.
With Grayson (bass/sax/younger son) home alone these days and Reagan (drummer/older son) away at camp for 3 weeks I’m starting to get the sense of what it’s going to be like this fall when Reagan goes off to California to school.
Quiet. Very quiet.
And I’m starting to see that my days of mommyhood are nearing an end.
I know that once Reagan goes to Idyllwild and lives away for even a few months, his “need” for Mom (as we’ve known it) will lessen. My prayer, of course, has always been for my boys to grow up and be independent. I guess I’ve always been praying myself out of a job. It just has happened faster than I thought it would.
So for those of you that have asked, “Won’t you miss your son by sending him AWAY to school so EARLY?” The answer is a HUGE “YES!!” But isn’t that what we attempt to do as parents? Empower our kids to leave the nest and fly on their own.
This is all very unsettling to me on many fronts. I wonder if I’ve done my job well enough. Have I poured all the wisdom I can into my son’s head and heart yet? Is he ready to fly solo (as solo as he can in a somewhat controlled environment of boarding school)? What am I going to do when Grayson leaves the nest in just 5 years? Have I prayed enough? How will I tolerate the QUIET in the house???
Funny, huh? I think the Mommy Job is the only job in the world that we expect planned obsolescence.
ditto and amen! We have Katie for her senior year, but then she is talking of moving to a dorm for college. My dad once told me “I’m a success when YOU are a functional adult”. I get that now. (And I see a LOT of non functional 20 and 30-somethings….)
By: Ray Janes on July 30, 2008
at 3:40 pm
I am so there with you on this. I have seen Carlen growing away from us more and more and suddenly it has taken a leap over the summer. I was tearing up over Steve’s comments this past Sunday about dreaming about the kind of parent you want to be and suddenly you realize that you are “there” and this is it. But then you realize that God is greater than that, and he isn’t finished with us. They are on loan to us, and God will continue to mold them.
By: Heidi on July 30, 2008
at 4:33 pm
Whether they physically leave or not, as a parent we are gradually phased out. That’s a good thing, but painful on many fronts. It must be hard to turn loose so early!
By: cookiehawk77 on July 31, 2008
at 12:06 am
Hey, you should be so lucky. In five years you can greet people and walmart.
By: Mustang Schweers on July 31, 2008
at 2:13 am
you’re a good mommy
By: jb on July 31, 2008
at 12:29 pm
Don’t worry. We will do ur very best to keep you busy, and if you start to pine, come over to my house and I will go get a pedicure or something;-) Thanks for your constant encouragement!! Can’t wait for the year to start.
Love you girl!! the fact that you will miss your boys is just another sign you did a great job raising them. You are a great role model for we moms of little bitties;-)
By: dawnparadise on July 31, 2008
at 6:48 pm